The Drinkers Home Companion
This quiz will help you to rate yourself as a drinker. It helps to have other people figure out your score so you don't cheat.
1. Drinking Compatibility
-Like drinking with Mother Teresa -1
-Belligerent -2
-Annoying -3
-Lame but friendly -4
-Fun but unpredictable -5
-Ready and willing -7
-The kind of guy that you tell
others to drink with -10
2. The Trouble Factor
-Always winds up doing something stupid
(or provokes other to) -10
-Trouble is usually involved -8
-Once in a while shit goes on that you
talk about later -6
-You rarely cause or instigate -4
-Pretty damn dull -2
-Like drinking with Martha Stewart -1
3. R & R (Respect and Responsibility)
-Never drives drunk, always pays,
has parties at his house, cleans up,
helps keep drunks alive. -10
-Most of above -8
-A few good qualities -6
-Disrespectful but not threatening -4
-Bad news -2
-Has ever pissed on a couch -1
4. Drinking Style
-Like drinking on the moon (no sign of life) -1
-Shows basic primate intelligence -3
-Friendly but unmemorable -5
-Would make a good story -7
-Quite a bit of fun -9
-Nudity is not out of the question,
center of attention, flair -10
5. Capacity (on an average weekend night)
-0 to 1 drinks -1
-1 to 2 -2
-3 to 5 -3
-5 to 6 -4
-6 to 7 -5
-7 to 8 -6
-8 to 9 -7
-9 to 10 -8
-10 to 12 -9
-12+ -10
6. Endurance
-Too busy napping to drink -1
-One night Charlie -3
-Takin' it slow on Saturday -5
-Poundin' away on Saturday -7
-You're digging in coolers on Sunday -10
7. Product Preferences
-$10 sixpack or $20 liter -1
-$10 twelve pack or $15 liter -4
-$15 case or $10 .75 liter -6
-$10 case or less than $10 per liter -8
-Under $6 per case -10
8. Control
-Total loss of control -1
-Whacked out koo-koo -3
-Signs of lunacy -5
-Relatively stable -7
-Completely in control of ones self -10
9. Frequency
-Never -1
-Rarely -2
-Seldom -3
-Monthly -4
-Bi-weekly -5
-Weekly -6
-2x weekly -7
-4x weekly -8
-6x weekly -9
-Daily -10
10. The Wildcard!
Take one point for every "yes" answer
-Have you ever been cut off or kicked out of a bar?
-Have you ever been arrested on alcohol related charges?
-Have you ever thrown up and kept drinking?
-Have you ever had sex with a stranger while hammered?
-Have you ever had a serious injury while drunk?
-Have you ever rated yourself as a drinker?
-Have you ever not made it home, but tried?
-Have you had unique or memorable vomit?
-Are you a member of a drinking club (i.e. Olympiad)?
-Have you ever dated Kim?
-Have you ever been too drunk to make it to your first day of
work at a liquor store?
-Are you too drunk right now to take this quiz?
There are 100 or so possible points. High score so far is around 70.